Be My Friend
by USSManhattan
Summary: All Peridot needed was some love. A silly little drabble based on a conversation with a fellow SU fan. Oneshot.


_All right, so this is a silly drabble I came up with talking to another SU fan I know. It's not meant to be taken seriously, or as all that great a story, but we agreed it would be funny if Peridot were defeated like this. I guess it's up to you if you agree._

* * *

Peridot frowned as she surveyed the scene before her. Kindergarten had not fared the rebellion or the intervening years well. The archaic tech would take months to repair even if she had a full force of robonoids ready to call on. Still, this was the situation and she had to deal with it. Perhaps it was not all a total loss; she could perhaps jury-rig a crude communications device to contact Homeworld. She did not relish telling Yellow Diamond that the mission had suffered massive setback, with the loss of the ship and two members of the expedition, but it was probably her only way off of this cursed rock. The engineer picked her way through the debris, grumbling to herself as she did.

"Those clods… had to crash my ship… strand me on this arcane world… make me lose my tech… I swear, if I see them again, I'll scream…"

"Boo," an all too familiar voice said. Peridot yelped, whirling around to see the trio of traitors that had dubbed themselves the "Crystal Gems" stepping off the warp pad. They looked ready for battle. She tried to compose herself.

"I, I warn you, Gems," the green alien stammered, "we are, are on my home territory now… I will not hesitate to—"

"I'll be brief, Peridot," the one called Garnet said. "I give you a chance to come quietly."

"I… I won't!"

"I urge you to see reason. You don't want to see the weapon we have ready for you."

"I'll never go willingly with you clods!"

"This is your last chance… join us willingly, or else." Peridot scowled.

"Me? Join you treasonous fools? Ha! That'll be the day! I'm restarting Kindergarten whether you approve of it or not." Garnet's face did not change.

"All right. You'll join us the hard way, then." The leader stepped back. "Do it," she said. Peridot's wavering composure strained under the silence.

"Well? Attack me! Bubble me! Do whatever you traitors do to…" The engineer trailed off as a small form walked out of the gap Garnet had left. She blinked, confused.

"…the Steven? You're going to defeat me with the Steven? What nonsense is…?"

"Hi, Peridot!" the boy chirped. Peridot frowned.

"…hello…" she said.

"What are you doing?"

"I… am attempting to restart Kindergarten," Peridot replied.

"Aw, you don't want to do that…" Steven said.

"…I don't?"

"No… I think you should be a Crystal Gem! You're smart and cool-looking, and I think you'd be really good!"

"I… uh… appreciate the thought, but I have no interest in…" Peridot trailed off as Steven's eyes underwent a strange transformation. The pupils swelled until they became giant, black stars.

"Be my friend!" Steven said.

"I… it… you…" Peridot stammered. Her brain wanted her to refuse the boy's demand, but… something about those eyes… those bizarre eyes….

"There's so much I want to share with you!" Steven continued. "The bits, donuts, sunsets, fun, movies, books…"

"I… don't think…" Peridot felt her limbs going slack. _What's happening to me?!_ she thought.

"I know you don't think very highly about humans, or Earth, but I don't blame you… you don't know much about us. I bet if you learned about us, you could like this planet too, just like Mom. I bet you wanna try something more than just tech stuff deep down, huh?" Steven continued, starting to approach her, his eyes the same.

"I can't… you… it…" Peridot mumbled.

"I just think if you gave us a chance, you'd like it here," Steven said simply. Peridot's teeth clenched.

"Something wrong, Peridot?" the tall, thin Gem known as Pearl called from her left.

"I… that face… those eyes… I want to… hug him," Peridot mumbled, as if under a trance.

"Why not?" the third Gem, Amethyst, said to her right. "Steven's a great hugger."

"Because I fear I will be forever under his control if I do," Peridot said.

"Surrender to the cute," Garnet commanded. "Escape is impossible."

"I… I don't… I can't…"

"Please, Peridot? It'll be fun!" Steven begged.

"I… I…" Peridot felt her arm begin to reach for Steven's own outstretched hand. She clamped it down with a frustrated grunt.

"Don't fight that face," Pearl said. "We've all tried. We've all lost."

"I even wrote a song," Steven continued, pulling out his ukulele. "I kinda ripped off the music from some other song, but the lyrics are mine…"

"A… song?" Peridot asked as her eyebrow rose.

"Yeah, it's not the best, but I like it…" Steven said, tuning his instrument. He strummed a few bars, clearing his throat:

 _Oh Peridot, you're a stranger to this world. There's so much I have to show you, girl... So much stuff, too much stuff… I'd like you to see it my way, girl…_

"I… no one has made something for me, before… I am but a lowly Peridot…" the Gem muttered.

"I could keep going…"

"No has made such effort for me. There is… no need."

"Why would you say that?" Steven asked. "I think you're worth the effort, that's why I wrote it."

"…why do you think I'm worth such effort?"

"I… just think there's some good in you, Peridot. I just think you don't know what's going on here, and I think if you did, you'd want to help protect it…" Steven edged closer, his hand outstretched again. Peridot looked at the approaching limb, and again felt her own rising to take it… Survival instinct kicked into the green Gem's body. She grunted, tearing herself from Steven's path and ran for the warp gate. She knew it was her only hope of escape.

"Aw, don't go…" Steven pleaded.

"No, this is insane… I cannot betray my oath to the Authority, I—AWP!" Peridot slid to a stop as Pearl landed in front of her, her ballerina pose unfolding into a lethal battle stance.

"You heard Steven. Don't go," she said, spear ready. Peridot turned to her right to see Amethyst grinning, snapping her whip in the air. She jerked left to see Garnet, smirking, her finger shaking in a scolding way. Panting, Peridot backed up, bumping against something small and soft.

"Ack!"

"I haven't finished my song…" Steven said.

"I… I…" Peridot gulped.

"She is made of sterner stuff," Pearl said.

"Yes. We will have to go to Stage 2," Garnet said. Her massive cube of hair shuddered, and a small form popped out of it.

"Wow, Steven, is this her? Is this Peridot?" the girl asked.

"Sure is!" Steven grinned. "Isn't she cool?"

"Totally!" the new arrival beamed. Garnet gently pulled her out of her hair and put her on the ground before Peridot. "Hi, I'm Connie! Steven told me he wants you to join the Crystal Gems?"

"He… did express that desire, yes," Peridot replied. The other Gems seemed to smirk as her emphatic refusal was eroding.

"I think it's a good idea," Connie said. "They're friendly, and smart, and go adventures, and it's really fun to be around them…"

"Steven seems to believe that is so, yes…" Peridot replied.

"So, why don't you want to?" Connie asked. Steven's eyes underwent that starry transformation again. Peridot stammered.

"I… I swore an oath of loyalty to the Authority," she replied.

"And do they do anything for you?"

"…they allow me to function in society…"

"That doesn't sound fun," Steven said. "If you were a Crystal Gem, you could do what you want and be around people who respect you."

"These Gems would not respect me."

"We would, Peridot," Connie said.

"And maybe they'll respect you if you give them a chance," Steven added.

"I…"

"Be our friend!" Steven beamed, opening his arms.

"Yeah!" Connie added, opening her arms. The two edged closer.

"The Steven and the Connie have a capture mode!?" Peridot gasped. She tried to back away, and found nowhere to go.

"There is no escape. Allow the cute to take you," Garnet said.

"Gems, please… mercy…" Peridot pleaded.

"You had your chance," Pearl sniffed.

"I… I…" Peridot winced as the two children reached her and began to wrap their arms around her lower body. She clenched her eyes, awaiting… bubbling, destabilization, incineration, or whatever would take her to…

Peridot frowned. The feeling going through her was not painful. It was not scary. It was… comforting, somehow. It felt… good? She lowered her arms and looked down at the two children.

"See? It's not so bad," Steven said. Connie nodded.

"I… suppose it isn't," Peridot said, distant.

"Sit down, it gets even better when they can reach your upper body," Amethyst said. Peridot, to her great confusion, found herself following the suggestion. Steven and Connie obligingly snuggled up once more, inviting themselves into Peridot's lap as they cuddled the stunned engineer. She found herself wrapping her own arms around the two small humans.

"I told you I wasn't so bad once you got to know me," Steven chided.

"You… did say that, yes," Peridot said.

"Steven told me you don't know a lot about Earth… we both came up with lists of stuff we wanna share with you, so that you'd see we're not all bad," Connie said.

"If you'd like that, anyway," Steven said.

"…I… think I might," Peridot replied, squeezing the two kids, causing them to giggle. She blushed. "Do humans do that when squeezed?"

"If they like it, or who's doing it," Garnet replied.

"I… don't know why they would like me."

"Because as Steven said, he sees some good in you and wants to give it a chance to grow," the lead Gem continued. "Maybe you should give it a chance."

"I think you'd like ice cream," Steven said.

"And I think you'd like music," Connie added. "Do you want to try them?"

"I… I think I do," Peridot said. The two kids got off of her lap so she could stand up. Peridot did so, and Connie and Steven took one of her hands each. The engineer Gem allowed them.

"I did warn you escape was impossible," Garnet chided Peridot.

"That you did," Peridot replied. She looked down at her uniform to see that the diamond had turned into a star. "You have assimilated me. I did not think it could be so easy…"

"It's that face. You can't resist it, I told you… even we can't," Pearl sighed. "Or, maybe on some level, you were ready to try something new…"

"Perhaps… being a captive will not be so bad," Peridot replied, a very small smile on her face.

"C'mon, Peridot… let's go to the boardwalk and get you ice cream," Steven urged, tugging her arm.

"And then we'll listen to some music," Connie added, giving her other arm a tug.

"All right, that sounds acceptable," Peridot said, letting the two children lead her to the warp gate. The Crystal Gems fell in behind her.

"I can't believe this actually worked," Pearl muttered. "I thought it was crazy when Steven talked about it."

"And like I said, Pearl… we had to give Steven a chance. He wanted to try love before we tried brute force. I'm glad it did work… I didn't want him to see what we had to do if Peridot managed to resist The Face," Garnet replied.

"So, are we really just going to let Peridot in like this?" Amethyst asked. "I mean, this does seem too easy, doesn't it?"

"We'll trust but verify. Let Steven and Connie take the wheel on this. And if Peridot tries anything… we'll make her wish their hugs killed."

"All right, Garnet… but, what happens now?" Pearl asked.

"Phase 1 was a success… perhaps it's time for Phase 2."

* * *

Jasper rubbed her head. Finally. Freedom. She lunged to her feet, only to be dragged back down by a watery chain from behind. She grunted, clawing at the restriction.

"I don't know how we unfused," an icy voice said behind her, "but I meant what I said. You are my prisoner now, and I'm not letting you go."

"You little brat!" Jasper roared. "Let go of me!"

"Never."

"Do it, or I swear, I'll…"

"Stand down, Lapis," a voice said.

"Huh? You?! How did…"

"We've got this," the voice continued. Jasper felt the chain around her throat loosen. She grinned, getting to her feet.

"I don't know why she talked you into that, Lazuli, but you're going to regret it," Jasper sneered, cricking her knuckles. "I'm going to grind you to dust, and then I'm going to… huh?" Jasper's vision was caught by a blur of pink. She looked down to see two small humans looking up at her from a pink bubble. "What in…?"

"Hi Jasper!" the two said as one.


End file.
